Interior World and Keeping Secrets

My friend and fellow artist Claudia McGill clay work—check these out!! My mom and I love her work!

You.

When I was a kid I drew. And painted. Everywhere. I am born to make things. Kinetic. Creator.

In progress - watercolors, acrylic mono prints, ink pen and eraser.
In progress – watercolors, acrylic mono prints, ink pen and eraser.

I never thought about where the objects I made would hang. Never cared if they sold. Those concepts never entered my mind. All my life I made art to make it—no choice–more like a compulsion. Last Thursday, I went to the NYC gallery where my painting is on display. Friends and family were with me and that made it more real for me that my work is hanging in NYC. I’ve heard others describe it as a dream they always wanted even from childhood. Odd that it never crossed my mind as being that important although I exhibited a few times in the 80’s because I was invited to do a small show.

Until a few years ago. I turned 49 and was on the upswing to 50 when I made a decision that I would exhibit again. I called it Aurora The Third Act. Aurora is goddess of the dawn and what a dawn this has been these 4 years. I am so pleased to be accepted into NAWA and have work in the annual exhibit. And pleased that I create work that brings pleasure to so many people. Although it can seem like it is about me, the artist, its not. Its about the viewer. You. Its about what you see and how you feel and where it leads you when you view the art I make. Together we make art an experience.

This photo is a picture of my tools and work in front of me. I work at a constant pace on paper and reserve my longer bits of time for larger paintings. The small work gets me through rough patches when time constraints are pushing me to and fro, or space is limited and I am on the go. Much like a knitter takes their work along, I take small paper drawings and pens. This work probably won’t end up in a gallery setting but I make it anyway. I use all my skills to create the best possible work at any given time or using any medium.

Lately, string is pulling me into hours of reverie, inventing images in my mind about what I might make with a crochet hook. I have a painting on an easel at home and one in the studio. Yet I don’t feel inspired to go to work on them. Summer was a series of trips and events that took me from home interspersed with the death of 4 people I know. Their passing has left me feeling very bereft and I think of them several times a day. I can’t see them again and have conversation or ask questions, smile with them, hold their hand. Mortality is rearing its head and I am interested in how that plays out in life and art. Life goes forward. So will the art.

She’s Going to NYC

"She's in there Somewhere" 24" x 36" Acrylic on Canvas
“She’s in there Somewhere” 24″ x 36″ Acrylic on Canvas
"She's in there Somewhere" Acrylic on canvas.
“She’s in there Somewhere”
Acrylic on canvas.

“She’s in There Somewhere” Acrylic Painting is going to be exhibited in NYC at the Syliva Wald and Po Kim Gallery with N.A.W.A. The National Association of Women Artists. First exhibition in New York in many many years. I had a show in NYC in the early 80’s and then moved to North Carolina with my family, got married and let my art career go. It is not an unusual story for a woman to give up a career but I am thrilled to be back in the city and to be a part of a great organization like NAWA.

The piece won an award in Bucks County and sending it to New York is pretty exciting. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to do this – as always you know who you are!

Failure of Da-Da

my mind is somewhere between the failure of dadaism so rampantly over-produced today, the success of punk rock, and how Louis felt after Claudia and Madelaine were burned in the fire and impatience for a new day in art.

Origins

"Music Taking Off" Watercolor and Ink on paper 2014.
“Music Taking Off” Watercolor and Ink on paper 2014.

Recently, this question appeared on my social media wall “alison, i’d love to know the artists who resonate the most with you…your work really is so incredible. influences? i know you said you’re self taught but i keep thinking i see threads of various artists in your work and i’m wondering if i’m correct.”

Today, I am still not sure about which artists influenced me. I was so busy working at full time jobs and my spare moments were spent making art that only occasionally would I see art made by other people and it wasn’t my focus. It never occurred to me to study other peoples work. I have my own ideas–why would I need to look at someone else’s ideas? I wanted to explore and figure out why this color works here or there, how this shape bumped up against that shape creates a certain feeling. I was not dealt the career card as a patron of the arts. The career card I was dealt was to be a Creator. Anything else doesn’t satisfy me. Its all I can do to wait until every event is over so I can get back to paint, sketch, plan, draw, sew and tinker with artwork. Being a Creator is the most important task on earth. I can imagine what you’re thinking, artists don’t save lives or rescue people, which are of course very important tasks. But I see it differently. Whatever objects have lasted for centuries that human hands created are collected and cared for. Museums and private collections are filled with items that human beings made and left behind. Some are practical and some are fancies of imagination. But no matter, they are valued. What I make is what civilization craves. The visually delicious colors of my palette, the feel of the surface I paint on, the softness of the cloth are a few things that drive me to create. Perhaps I am self absorbed, but I am here to create!!

The concept of art came to me as though it was just a part of me–but writing and reading were much the same. The earliest memories I have are of sunlight coming through leaves and creating sparkling color. After that, I began making marks and using colored crayons and pencils but most importantly the way it made me feel–as though I could create anything and the simple joy of holding onto an object that made lines or scribbled and filled in areas held so much pleasure. I grew up in rural Bucks County, in an old house with a big lawn, garden and woods. I rambled along in our old house and drew and colored everything in my path—until my mother explained that the walls were not to be drawn upon. That left me with one choice, hide the work behind the sash of the doorways. That was not what the adults expected. I burned my fingers and the bridge of my nose trying to get sticks to burn in the fire so as to draw black marks on old stones. The scar is still evident on the bridge of my nose. Our family books were fair game as I drew and colored in the borders of pages with colored pencils. Compulsive Artist comes to mind as an adult, but as a child I just pressed forward until paper, felt markers, crayons and brushes came regularly into my hands. Then at age 4, I entered school, very unwillingly, and saw a portrait of George Washington which I promptly copied. It looks like it was completed by a teenage student rather than a kindergarten age girl.

Where does my talent and drive come from? Agnes, my grandmother wove braided rugs and was renowned for her use of color and balance. Often I am compared to her, we share our countenance and acumen, and especially the same eye for color and natural sense of balance. My grandfather, Bryan would take us on explorative walks in the rural area where we lived, played music and talked to us of lofty ideals and philosophy. When I drew a portrait and painted the face green, my mother defended my choice to any naysayer and that was that. Riding my horse throughout the Bucks Country countryside is where many of my images come from today. I spent a multitude of hours inspecting ice formations, leaves, rocks, bark, mushrooms, field grasses, insects and more. Everything was fascinating to my eyes–I still fall in love with the earth and its plant and insect life every time I get to inspect the beauty of it all.

In high school I was tested and scored into the .01 percentile for spatial relations. The counselor suggested that I could play chess and be good at logic and math. Which is true. After high school, I worked in a greenhouse and attended local life drawing sessions at an old church down the street. These were wonderful sessions with live models, we paid a few dollars and could sit and draw and paint for 3 or 4 hours. My favorite technique was to use big loose watercolor washes to describe the figures before me. Visiting the art store and library were my main sources of information. Once being too broke to get supplies, in desperation I took some india ink from an art store without paying for it. That thievery has haunted my memory for most of my adult life.

Around the age of 20 I visited the Smithsonian and saw Japanese woodcuts and was curious enough to look up information at the library. I went to a lumberyard and bought a plank which I had them cut into 12″ sections and proceeded to cut with lino cut tools. The blocks were then printed with a bamboo baren and pulled by hand. My first woodcut is called “For Timothy” and was a gift to my dying cousin. Moving to Charlotte led me to find an artists co-operative that had a printing room with presses and every supply available to use, plus books on how to make etchings and lithographs. I spent several years there teaching myself several different printing techniques. The final works in that studio were experimental. When I was cleaning up color inks I printed monotypes from the leftovers. These prints were discovered by a local anchor person and they did a newscast on me. One artist whose work I admired at the time was Georgia O’Keefe because there was a calendar hanging up in the co-op. I took a class in 1989 in ceramics because I was tired of printing chemicals. The ceramic process did not suit my character.

I relocated to New Jersey in the mid-90’s and taught myself oil painting and then watercolor and pen and ink. I hung work in galleries and sold some of the paintings. As usual working a full time job left me only a few hours a week to make art. Not long afterward I got married and moved frequently due to my husbands job. During these years, I became an award winning pie baker, beekeeper, organic flower grower, embroiderer and worked in threads, learned to knit and spent any extra time time painting in watercolor and ink. The mobility of small watercolor pans and pen and ink really worked for my lifestyle. In 2004 we lived in the Lehigh Valley for about 8 months. I took 2 classes at the Baum School fully intending to work toward an art degree. I put a portfolio together and was accepted to Kutztown University. Life took a weird turn and I became very ill and was unable to attend college. We moved away and then a divorce in 2010 brought me back to the Lehigh Valley. At which time, I began to use textiles and quilting as a medium. I taught myself how to sew with a machine, cut fabric and quilt. Painting in watercolor was continued and the watercolors were exhibited as well as the works in fabric. In 2013 when I packed up my Allentown studio, I taught myself to use pastels because they were the only tools not packed away. Right after that, upon moving into the Banana Factory studio, I decided to paint more often. The small size of the new studio determined the next move, the decision had to be made: oils or acrylics. I had never used acrylics in a major way and decided that would be the method due to the ease of cleanup. I still work in many mediums. I still don’t know the names of many artists. Whenever I had the chance to see the paintings of Van Gogh in the Netherlands I did. When I was in St. Petersburg, Fl, I went to the Dali Museum. Whenever I was in an art store I purchased supplies that looked interesting and experimented and taught myself to use them. Before the world wide web and search engines I learned to work with the materials and tools that artists use because that was all I had.

I wanted to respond right away to my friend who asked the question, but life got in my way first. Tonight, I found in my response that my art has little to do with other visual artists.  It is more about my early life, my family and just being alive on earth: a speck in the universe who wants to leave her mark.

I See Peace

I See Peace
I See Peace

I see Peace in our future. You may be asking how, in the aftermath of recent bombings, continued wars and atrocities how this can be accomplished. WE will accomplish it. I believe it. John Lennon and Yoko Ono wrote lyrics and sung their songs to several generations of people who listened with open ears. Yoko and John are not alone in their desire.

WE will accomplish Peace. It starts with us–with you–with me. Make peace with yourself. Everywhere I look across the web the last few days people are lamenting the suicide death of Robin Williams. Maybe Robin couldn’t make peace with himself. He was living with manic and addictive behaviors. One would think that with the lifestyle and resources he had, help might have been available. I heard several years ago on the radio an interview with a physician that specialized in depression that there is a surgery available but our insurance will not pay for it. Unless one has the resources to pay out of pocket they cannot get the surgery. I don’t know if that would have helped Williams. We are only beginning to understand the brain and neurological science. Would a brain scan have helped him and others?

Find peace within yourself. The inner you, that is seeking reconciliation, let your natural creative spirit come to life. There is tremendous peace in being creative–not just making art. Create a positive business, dinner for friends, gifts for loved ones, a garden, a park in your town, plant trees, allow insects and animals to live, or something that drives you to want to make the world a better place. How many times are we living in dread of others words or actions, certain we are to blame when in reality its not about us, but it is about them. If we have amity in our hearts, souls and life then we might take the time to let the situation come to rest before taking action in anger.

I had an experience with friends that had a large vegetable garden. They had a few rabbits in their gardens. They worked so hard to rid the garden of rabbits and yet it drew more rabbits than ever. Their every waking moment was focused on these rabbits, the babies, the mother rabbits, where the nests were and how to eradicate them was all they focused on. Then their bean crop got severely damaged by disease. Next the tomatoes started to rot. I advised them to stop focusing on the rabbits and let them feed–instead focus on adding another bed or new crops. Fix the soil and work for good in their beautiful patch. As they changed the garden space by the next season the rabbits had moved on somewhat. There were still a few but less and the season after yet less. Nature abhors a vacuum said Spinosa. Perhaps by trying to kill off all the rabbits the system of nature brought more. I cannot prove it but intuitively I think its part of the explanation. If you garden, don’t shut out the animals that need to eat. Make peace in the garden. Give away food. Let them prosper. Nature will balance itself eventually. We often impede nature. I kept bees as a girl and as an adult. Africanized (so called killer) bees are rampant and moving into the southern United States. When it first happened, in a hyper-reactive state of mind, people called for all beekeeping to be abolished in southern states. Laws were passed and honeybee keepers had bees removed. The result? More africanized bees moved up and into territories not being used by honeybees. Another example of nature filling in the vacuum.

Peace grows, like everything we do. Focus on being at peace with yourself, your family, your neighbors and let the ripple create an effect that rocks the world. I am trying to do it and its not a perfect walk. I’m still angry. I still want to shout about injustice of all types. I still yearn for earthly goods. Not to be preachy, but its past the time we have to change. I am searching for tranquility. Still I say this. Create peace. Live peacefully. Focus on unanimity for humankind and our planet. I’m planning a series of paintings that will be about finding serenity and projecting world peace. In the meantime I borrowed a graphic that projects the flags of many nations united in the clearly recognizable sign for peace.

TBT – Big Spiral

Big Spiral
Big Spiral

Not many pictures of me remain due to theft and loss. So I am sharing some TBT art instead. I dug this baby out of storage this week. I painted it in the early 1980’s before I was Bessesdotter. Oil on canvas. Soft spiral shapes over a landscape, surreal and not yet complete. There is more to add to the composition and now that its out of storage I plan to make time to paint in oils again.

In childhood I painted spirals and abstracts but then tried to work on representational art. Abstracts, psychedelics, detailed line work and spirals became my signature not long after I met Allan Carter in the early 1980’s. He was bigger than life and he called himself ‘Big’ and so did we all. He was a character one could say, amiable, kind, and he made art from air or anything he could find.

I loved him–I still do. It was a youthful crush on an older artist who painted boldly and lived to create.

Allan liked my work and told me to paint what I paint, what came from inside me, not what other people want to see. “Be the artist” he would say to me. He didn’t have transportation and I would drive him to the art store where he would pick up a few supplies. Mostly though Big got his supplies from dumpsters behind art shops and print shops. He lived to make art and I honor his memory. Here is to TBT and Big.

Handmade Birthday Cards for Cancer

Postcards I've made
Postcards I’ve made

5-YEAR-OLD BOY WITH CANCER HOPES FOR BIRTHDAY CARDS

Mailing my card today! I’ll be selecting from the cards I’ve already made and it might be one of the cards in the above photo. here you go Danny Nickerson! For those who wish to participate here is the speed version of Danny’s address. This was on channel 6ABC news and is legit.

Danny Nickerson
P.O. Box 212
Foxboro, MA 02035

Moving Day Again

I love to move. There must be viking, nomad or tinker blood in my family somewhere. Moving is the greatest event and I relish it where some people prefer to stay put. It is motivational, cleansing and inspirational. Moving should commence about the 18 month mark.

This move is early but just feels like its right on time. 14 months from the acquisition of my Banana Factory studio – I’m moving UPSTAIRS to 248a on the second floor at the Banana Factory.
Packing up today and hope to be moved in by tomorrow. I’m leaving my gorgeous floor on the first floor–mom and I put the floor down together. Now I will have a concrete floor and I am looking forward to a new experience.
Art is on hold until the move is complete–that’s where patience comes in–waiting to hold the tools in my hand and paint again.

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Bucks county artist

"She's in there Somewhere" Acrylic on canvas.
“She’s in there Somewhere”
Acrylic on canvas.

Winning an award is always cool. Happening in Bucks County–my home–is the greatest. Many thanks to the judges and The Tinicum Civic Association for making the show possible!