Bessesdotter's Blog
Off to paint in my Secret Garden.
A friend and poet Ishmael Street performed this piece at http://www.thebrewworks.com/allentown-brewworks/Â Ishmael, thank you for sharing your words and intellect with us. The night was an ending to a day I don’t want to relive–but hearing your voice speak those words changed how I see the world. Ishmael – I put this piece up for you in return for your generosity. It is a watercolor I painted called Baroque Love.
UNTITLED by Ishmael Street
Do you know your worth?
Are you an Earthly Queen or
Eternal Goddess?
See a Goddess knows she more worthy than
The sun and moon
She is never subdue
She is worth everything
She is the universe and the stars
Are her children
Love is she and she is the supplier of
Unlimited love
She is never alone
She is exist for eternity
Do you know your worth?
Are you an Earthly Queen or
Eternal Goddess?
A queen know she is royalty, knows she should be
Treated as royalty
She holds this title of queen at birth
Her worth is determined by how she treats others
She knows can’t make everyone happy but
She must rely on others for the longevity in her
Kingdom
She holds power in her own kingdom and she may
Reign over her kingdom for only a short while
Do you know your worth?
Are you an Earthly Queen or
Eternal Goddess?
Maybe Neither
Maybe just a child of God
Needing a label a crown to define your
Worth told by others who looks into a broken
Mirror every morning calling it
Self esteem
So let your light shine
Liberate from your fear
Revolt against your insecurities
Then your presence will liberate others.
I soak watercolor paper in a tub of cool clean water for 2-3 minutes, remove the paper and press between 2 clean bath towels. Working on a flat surface with large squirrel mop brush I begin with loose watercolor washes. I do not work the a lot, but I continue to add and push the paint with either brushes or my fingers. This is an integral part of the work for me, once dried the fingerprints are like landmarks. Rarely I will use a blotter, but occasionally I will do so with a rough rag to create texture. Additionally, I use found objects placed in the paint and left to dry so as to draw paint to those areas. Other times, I might use harmless natural resists like castile soap, oatmeal or salt to obtain depth in the work.
At this point I usually allow the work to dry. Once dry, I can re-wet and add more paint and texture or move on to ink in the large areas. Inking is done with smaller brushes and pens. There is no planning or completion of inking at this time, the piece is open to re-working or starting collage in an inked area or adding paint. The inking is the mind engaging part where I can get lost for hours, allowing ideas to form, transcending the hum-drum-slow-rattle brain chatter and get some peace.
Dawn spent this morning in the company of my kaleidescope, turning, spinning, shaking, dipping and tipping it catch the light fragments, hearing the small pieces inside flit-flutter like little laboring beetles tracking their footprints inside. A tiny pleasure while spent in moments of solitude before the daylight completely unfolds and the dogs expect to be greeted with a big heart.
No painting today, this is a day of errands until the afternoon or evening when I can zone into my process of drawing and painting, working a 22 x30 watercolor right now on the table. Ready to unveil it soon.
Originally published August of 2010, this is revisited February 2012.
The Artist. A Title. A venerable title that holds so much promise, yet is born out of deep pain or resonant joy, each work is a reflecting pool of a life, a time, a dwelling, a bond, a collaborator or partner. Ever The Artist. I have dragged The Title kicking and screaming all the way, sometimes losing sight of it, putting others needs before The Title’s needs. At times The Title gets complacent and waits, whirring and worrying, behind me shadow-like, and then feeling trapped it gnaws off a leg. And it lets me know every time that it is weary of being flouted and it gets angry. That is how The Title preserves itself. What if I die before It gets It’s work done? How dare I…so I step aside again and let it chew off a limb or kill a part of my life so we can get to work again.
The Artist has just killed again.
Recurring theme – surfaced again, I had to visit this again to find the essence of the work. Its always a bloody event, visceral and real, takes me down to a bare bones emptiness. Yet out of it comes something so clear and pristine that I gasp as I feel the new power surge through me.
As an artist, I often find people do not understand what I do and why I would do it. To learn to create in different mediums thrills me. But today a friend from my past appeared with a  kindness, a few words; it was so sincere but without the appearance of any motive. Truly a person with a golden heart. This is the kind of stuff that makes me feel like painting or creating, an uplifting of my moral spirit to a higher good–its lofty, noble even and I love it. Thank you and you know who you are and I will be painting for me. But for now here is one from the recent archive.
This piece was painted while I was sitting in a new age store in Allentown – with some of my friends. It is a Fire Goddess, she is ready with her shield and sword, coming to the aid of all who need protection. 
I have become aware that my painting comes intuitively – almost automatically. I can paint what I need to when it needs to be done.
Being able to engage a complete idea within a painting is not something that ever occurred to me in the past. Now that I CAN–lookout! But then why would I even publish those lovely orange paintings when I can just look at them everyday and enjoy them myself.
maahhwhhhha-ha-ha-ha!
Boundless 